Tag

I got tagged! I never get tagged, so I'm super excited.

The rules for this particular tagging are as follows: Remove the blog name in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add yourself to the bottom slot.

Traci
April
Shelby
Jill
Waynette

Then you get to select five people to pass the love on to.
I don't know that five people will see this...so if you do see it, consider yourself tagged

Here are the questions.
What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 13...so I don't really remember. Probably something stupid and embarrassing.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was in class, I'm guessing

Five snacks you enjoy (in no particular order, as all snacks are created equal):
Orange lifesavers
Chex Mix
Pringles
Pretzels
Dibs

Five songs to which you KNOW all the lyrics:
I know the most random mix of songs...lots of broadway and 80s songs and so forth

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Buy a beach house
Hire a maid
Pay off my parents bills
Go on vacations to everywhere I've always wanted to see
Fly to LA to hang out with my cousin and hopefully see some celebs

Five bad habits:
I'm always sitting on my feet so they fall asleep and then I'm mad because I hate that feeling
I bite my lips until they bleed
I fidget all the time
I stay up too late
I procrastinate

Five things you like doing:
Going to the movies
Taking pictures
Scrapbooking
Shopping
Playing games

Five things you would never wear, buy, or get again:
Denim shorts (I don't think anybody can pull those off after like, age 9)
Actually, shorts of any kind
snow boots-it doesn't matter how cute they are, I never end up wearing them
I'm sure there's more, but I can't really think of any right now

Five favorite toys:
I have no real toys I can think of~!

First time you got kissed: How was it? It was my grandparent's neighbor, and his name was Ben and we were probably like, 7.

First time you drove a car: What kind of car? I think the first car I drove was my dad's old truck, when I was like, 14. Though when I was little he used to let me sit on his lap and steer.

First time you scrapbooked: When you look at your page do you love it? I actually like my first page, even if it is the only Creative Memories page I ever did. It's not too CMy, I don't think.

First time you went on a date: Where did you go and with who? A school dance, I think. That or to the movies

First time you fell in love: How did you know? I don't know that ever really had that big, true love thing.

First time you cooked for someone: Was it yummy? What did you make? It was probably helping my dad cook. Or baking with my mom

First time you got on a plane: Where did you go Were you scared? I went to Florida when I was 4. I'm much more scared of flying now than I was then.

First time you shaved your legs: Did you cut yourself? I can't remember

First time you put on make up: Looking back how did you do? Did you look good or like a clown? I can't remember putting it on myself, but when I was a kid of my cousins put makeup on me and I looked like a hooker. Bright red lips, blue eyeshadow, hot pink blush.

First time you moved out of your home: Was it an apartment, house, etc? Into a dorm at the first college I went to. I only lived there for a couple of weeks though. Then I transferred colleges and lived in the dorms there for a year, then moved into the apartment I have now. I hope to be able to move into a condo when I get a job.

Frick!

I haven't updated in forever because I've been sick, but I think I'm slowly starting to get better. The holidays were very nice. The job search hasn't exactly gotten started yet (oops).

Really loved tonights Gilmore Girls and I'm so glad Scrubs is back!

Basic Grey Christmas Eve

I got up a few minutes ago and looked out the window and everything is grey and raining, and scrapbooker that I am, though hey, it's basic grey outside. I'm so darn clever.

Anyway, wherever you are, whatever you celebrate, I hope that you have the very best days.

I feel like I haven't posted here forever. I've been busy running around, doing errands, getting all the Christmasy stuff done. Tree is up and decorated, presents are all bought, mail has been sent out. I still have to wrap (I hate wrapping). I thought I would have a lazy, easy day today (and I have so far, I'm still not even dressed) but my mom called and wants me to run a couple of errands for her. Which means at some point I actually have to get dressed. So I can go to Borders and Target. I can never just go to Target, either, without wondering around and finding pretty stuff that I need. My life is so hard. ;)

There's beauty in the breakdown

I'm crying so hard as I write this but it's not a sad cry, for the first time in a long. I was talking to my friend E tonight and she asked me what my favorite class had been and I told her art history and explained why and got to talking all my art geek stuff. And I remembered the first time I ever saw a Van Gogh in person. And I started crying because it's just such a perfect, beautiful memory. And it made me remember so many other things, the first time I ever really painted, the first time I saw Rent, the first time I ever realized I could put words together and make them beautiful, the first I ever took a picture that was something more than just a snapshot, something special. All those things are tied up together in my mind, in some way. I'm not saying I'm ever going to be a great artist. I know I'm not that talented, and that's not like, a lack of self esteem talking, that's just reality. But the word is so full of beauty and for a little bit I forgot that. I couldn't see it through everything that was wrong with my life. But I remember now. She gave me the most amazing gift, because she gave all of that back to me. Because I can see it again, how beautiful the world is. And I know, I've always known, that as long as I can see that, I'm going to be just fine.

Shallow

Today I need to talk about my hair. See, I've been growing it out for almost a year now (I last got it cut in February or March, I can't remember). It's longer now than it's been since I was 15. And I'm really, really loving it. I love just being able to throw it in a ponytail when I'm at home working on stuff. I love that after years of saying I was going to grow it out I actually have. I love the way it looks. Seeing it there, around my shoulders, when I catch my reflection during the day makes me smile. Seeing people I haven't seen in a year and having them say, your hair is getting so long, makes me happy for the rest of the day. I've just really, really been enjoying my hair.

But today my hair doesn't look like my hair. It looks really, really nice, it looks better than my hair actually. I really like it. I just can't figure out what I did any differently, to be blessed with like, an exceptionally good hair day.

And there's not an actual point to any of this. I just wanted to talk about my hair. So if you read all of my boring ramblings, gold star for you!

It only happens once a year

At least, that's what Starbucks tells me. I love the Christmas season. I'm the freak who loves to be in the mall in December because seeing the stores all Christmasy makes me happy. I love the decorations. (I have Christmas lights up in my room I never take down. I don't call them Christmas lights and pretend it's not odd.) I love the songs. (Thank you, Sirius Satelite radio and your 24/7 Christmas station.) And I love, love, love the presents.

It's not even just the getting for me (and I say that as a deeply shallow, fairly self absorbed person). I love giving presents. I love shopping for people. Walking around, figuring out the perfect thing. I love the thought that other people are out there thinking the same things about me. Like, right now I have some cards in the mail. Just little cards. And I'm like, giddy waiting for them to get there. Hoping to brighten somebody's day. Like, there's a little piece of me, and a little bit of love from me, that's out there in the universe, traveling off to somebody else.

And that thought? Makes me so, so happy.

Play

I've been thinking alot about playing lately, artistically/creatively. When I was in high school, I loved art class, and I used to paint all the time. And when I painted I was very abstract, it was what I was drawn too. I haven't really painted in a few years, I never made like, a conscious choice to stop, it just sort of happened. And when I scrapbook, I'm very nonabstract, very linear. Everything lined up straight. I'm going to try to break out of that some. I did a page about it, actually (you can see it here: http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/pg.asp?gallery=1&cmd=display&layout_id=708244 if you want). The page is hanging on my chalk board in my scrap area now to inspire me, to remind me of my almost new year's resolution.

Shopaholic

So I think it's possible I might think about shopping a bit too much. And I say this because last night (well, this morning really, I was up late hanging out with my family so I didn't go to bed until after 1) I had a dream about shopping at amillionlittlethings.com. At least Jill will be proud.

One Song Glory

I saw Rent. After waiting what feels like forever (and is, in reality, over a year) for the movie to come out, today was the day. I always fear, when I anticipate something this much, that it can't live up to the hype. There's also always a fear when you love some material, of having it turned into a movie and the whole thing going wrong. But it was perfect. Heartbreaking, beautiful, perfect.

I will try to fix you

I've started this post it feels like a hundred times since Friday. I've not been really good at being very open here, at sharing really personal details of my life, in large part because that's just not something I've ever really been good at. I'm not an open person. I'm not a sharer. But this time I need to share.

There was a boy. And until a few days ago he was my boy. And I loved him, as much as I'm capable. I never wrote about him here because I feared in some way jinxing it, which just seems silly now. I don't know what to say really, beyond we were together for a long time and now we're not. I always thought that the whole expression, heartbroken was just so overly dramatic, but that's kind of how it feels. Like there's this huge aching whole in my life where he used to be.

Having said all of that, if you could, just like, think good thoughts for me or something. Because I need anything I can get right now.

The little things

I've always heard, that it's the little things that matter, that the little things are really the big things, etc. And it's not so much that I didn't believe it until a couple of years ago, I just don't think I understood it. I think for me, in a sense, it's easy to get the big things right, the things you're supposed to do, but those little moments, those little things, to me, that really show me that people care. Take today. I had to do a big presentation today and I was really nervous about it, so before my class E came out and hung out with me, to keep from being as nervous. And when she had to go, she turned back when she was leaving and wished me good luck. And it's such a little thing, but I really, really knew in that moment that I mean something to her. The little things make all the difference.

Snow day

We got our first snow today. And I've been dreading it since they started talking about. When I was sitting in class and heard about the snow, it put me in a really bad mood. And then, after class when I walked outside it was just so, so beautiful, at that exact moment, it almost made me want to cry. I felt so lucky to be alive, to be in that exact spot at that exact time, to be able to see it. It was really amazing.

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss

I was reading on another blog (http://www.jessicafulkerson.blogspot.com/) about out regret and it got me thinking about my regrets.

There are certainly things I wish I'd done differently in my life, things I regret. I wish I'd been nicer to my mom when I was growing up. I wish I hadn't trusted the wrong people and gotten my heart broken. I wish I didn't feel like I'd wasted years of my life. But I don't know if I'd be better off, if I was able to go back and change them all. I mean, as much as these things make me sad, and they do make me sad, in a really big, aching way, my life doesn't suck now. I'm pretty wabi sabi, all happy and sad mixed together, and if I did things differently, I wouldn't have ended up here. I wouldn't have the same friends. I wouldn't have the same relationships. I don't know that my life would be worse, it could be better, even, but it would undoubtedly be different. I wouldn't trade what I have for the chance at better. I'm not even sure I'd trade what I have for the guarantee of better.

Me

I've seen this floating around blogland, and since I don't have anything to say, really, I thought I'd fill it out.

2 names you go by
1. Waynette
2. Some friends of mine call me JR for some long forgotten reason

2 parts of your heritage
1. Irish
2. Scottish

2 things that scare you
1. being trapped
2. Something bad happening to the people I love

2 of your everyday essentials
1. my subway token necklace
2. my watch

2 things you are wearing right now
1. jeans
2. a tshirt from neighborhoodies.com

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
1. The Killers
2. the cast of Rent

2 favorite songs (at the moment)
1. Mr. Brightside-The Killers
2. Answer-Sarah McLachlan

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
1. Laughter
2. Security

2 truths
1. There's something I want really badly right now.
2. I'm afraid if I say it outloud it won't happen.

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex)
1. eyes
2. hands

2 of your favorite hobbies
1. photography
2. reading

2 things you want really badly
1. a job
2. more hours in my day

2 places you want to go on vacation
1. Italy
2. NYC

2 things you want to do before you die
1. have children
2 make peace with my demons

2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick
1. I have to keep my toenails painted
2. Pink is my favorite color

2 things you are thinking about now
1. I want to get my exit exam over
2. I hope I get a chance to talk to E today.

2 stores you shop at
1. Target
2. Urban Outfitters

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up

The thing that's been running through my head all morning is a quote from Grey's Anatomy, "When did we become grown ups? And how do we stop it?". My mom is in the hospital (she has pneumonia), and my dad's working, so I kind of have to be responsible for everything, and it's stressing me out more than it probably should. I should feel so ill equipped to take care of anyone, I barely take care of myself. Anyway, I'm off to finally take a shower so I can go back and check on her. I hope you're all having less stressful weekends than I am.

No day but today

I think I've already mentioned by love for Rent. I may have pointed out that my love is perhaps bordering on obsession. It might be, possibly, slightly out of proportion with the fact that, in the end, it's just a play. But I have it, this possibly insane, obsessive, true true love for it. I feel like I've been waiting for the movie to come out forever. The first time I saw the trailer on tv (after seeing it multiple times online and in the theater a couple of times) I jumped up and down. Because after waiting what feels like forever, I only have 20 more days left to wait. And then the movie will be out, it will be out there for me to see. And then, and this is the most exciting part, there will be a dvd. A dvd that I will be buying at midnight the day it's released, because I'm crazy. A dvd that I can watch every single day. Ain't love grand?

The exit exam wasn't so bad (except for the question on fractions. I don't do fractions) and it didn't take nearly as long as they said it would, so my day wasn't as bad as I thought it would.

I don't really have anything interesting to write about, so if you read this, take this as an opportunity to let me know you're out there. Ask me anything, and I promise to answer, honestly, and share as much as I feel comfortable with.

tired

I'm so tired today and it's one of those that's just going to get worse, step by step. I have to go do my mentoring in a bit, and then I have to take my first exit exam. And all I really want is a nap. Wah.

Sweet and Toxic

Awhile I was at Urban Outfitters looking at tshirts, and I saw one I really liked. It was by Sweet and Toxic, it was green and had a rainbow and under it said happily ever right now and I just thought it was really, really cute. I was going to get it, but was kind of in a hurry, so I left and planned on going back to get it later. Except I forgot all about it. Then, I was watching One Tree Hill, and there was my shirt. And right after One Tree Hill, it showed on Veronica Mars. So, reminded of the shirt, my love renewed, I headed off to make it mine. Only the store was sold out. And didn't know if they'd be getting more in, ever. It was sold out online. So today, I made up my mind I was gong to find my shirt. I started randomly calling Urban Outfitter stores, starting with the ones closest to me and moving out. Finally, after calling at least ten stores with no luck, I found one. I think in Michigan somewhere, though I can't be certain, I talked to a lot of people. The important thing is, the shirt will be, tomorrow morning, starting it's journey to me. Or the important thing might be that I'm insane. Definitely one or the other.